Confidence is Key

Confidence is important, almost as important as what you wear. As Tim Freund brought up in his blog, found here, people will judge you based on what you wear. Not only that, people will judge you on you confidence and how you carry yourself through a room. The best suit in the world can't cover up scared and nervous. Also don't tell me that confidence is something that you just can't learn, I used to be scared and nervous all the time. People make great careers teaching people skills in order close deals or pick up women, so the skill can be learned. Like most things, it just takes practice, a lot of practice.

So let's start with why I decided to make this my returning post. I just recently attended a Tech Cocktail at Boulevard Brewery. There are a lot of different people that show up to these events from all different companies. As a bonus when you sign up, it lists your name and your company. I then will go down this list and see if there is a company or person that I have been wanting to meet with, and believe me, people are doing the same about you. You are going to be regarded as a face for your company by saying you are there. If you come in dressed like a slob, I am going to imagine that your company doesn't care about appearance. If you have no confidence to talk to a person up close, even after a few drinks, then I want nothing to do with you, or even worse your company. I must have had two or three people this week who just couldn't talk or carry a conversation about what it is they do or what their company did. And you are trying to sell me your startup? Good luck.

Here are a few things you can do to improve your confidence with others. 

1. Pick your battles: Are you more confident one on one or one on a group? Pick which is easier for you to open up to, and grow from there. Honestly some people thrive when they talk to 4 or more because they can hide behind others if it gets hairy.
2. Become a new person: When you are at one of these events, unless you make them a habit, you will most likely not see these people again. Become a new person. Unless you are planning on bringing them back to your office, just pretend you are some one else. Think of it like acting. You get yourself ready to perform in front of these people. A lot of comedians do this because they are shy or nervous, so they make alter egos that are loquacious. This is the process I took, pretty soon the alter ego spread into my every day and now you all have the Curtis you know and love.
3. And lastly, keep trying! This is the same as dating, or any activity. Failure and not trying are the same thing. And you are going to fail, even I still fail when trying to open up to people, it just happens. But you learn and try again. Over time failing gets easier, only because success comes just as easy. You know that you can just try again and you will succeed.

So there you go. Remember to carry yourself well, dress nice at events(or anywhere you want to look like you are in charge), and have an elevator speech. If you don't know what that is, tune in next week and I will give a run down on that.